FWD: Road Rage

Honk If You Love Jesus!

Grandma Still Drives

Grandma DrivingPRICELESS!  Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. 

She writes:    
‘Dear Grand-daughter,
       
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker ..
       
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from athrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
       
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
       
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in  thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.
       
It  is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’thonked,  I’d never have noticed.
       
I found that lots of people love Jesus! 

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love ofGod!’

‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’
       
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
       
Everyone started honking!
       
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
       
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
 
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard himyelling something about a sunny beach.
       
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle fingerstuck up in the  air.
       
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
       
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
       
My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment thatthey got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
       
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is  when I noticed the light had changed.
       
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove onthrough the intersection.
       
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersectionbefore the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
       
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.  Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
       
Will write again soon,
       
Love,  Grandma

Old Lady

TGIF!

Forward this to those who are still sitting in traffic on their commute home!  They could use a laugh.

(E-mail Forward Circa 2009)

About these ads

FWD: Sex & The City

Ladies Night

English: American actress, Sarah Jessica Parke...

Two  women friends had gone for a girls’ night  out.  Both were very faithful and loving wives,  however  they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the  Bacardi  Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and  walking home they  needed to pee, so they stopped  in the cemetery.

One  of them had nothing to  wipe with so she thought she would  take off her  panties and use them.

Her friend however  was  wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and  did  not want to ruin them.

She was lucky  enough to squat  down next to a grave that had a  wreath with a ribbon on it,  so she proceeded to  wipe with that.

After the girls  did their  business, they proceeded to go home.

The  next day, the husband of one of the women was  concerned  that his normally sweet and innocent  wife was still in bed  hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:

“These  girl nights have  got to stop!
I’m starting to suspect the worst.
My  wife came home with no panties!!”

“That’s  nothing,” said the other husband,
“Mine came  back with a card stuck to her ass that said…..
‘From  all of us at the Fire Station.   We’ll  never forget  you.’  ”

Forward this to all the Ladies going out tonight!

FWD: Asparagus vs. Cancer

 

Asparagus

I do NOT know if this is true or not but it is interesting.
 
Look at this……
I couldn’t find anything in truthorfiction.com or snopes.com to disprove this.  Certainly couldn’t hurt anything. I guess it couldn’t hurt anything, give it a try.

Three types of asparagus on a shop display, with white asparagus at the back and green asparagus in the middle. The plant at the front is Ornithogalum pyrenaicum, is commonly called wild asparagus.

Asparagus

          
Several years ago, I had a man seeking asparagus for a friend who had cancer. He gave me a photocopied copy of an article,entitled, `Asparagus for cancer ‘ printed in Cancer News Journal, December 1979.

I will share it here, just as it was shared with me: ‘I am a biochemist,and have specialized in the relation of diet to health for over 50 years.
       
Several years ago, I learned of the discovery of Richard R.Vensal, D.D.S. that asparagus might cure cancer. Since then, I have worked with him on his project. We have accumulated a number of favourable case histories.
         Here are a few examples:
 
 
Case No. 1, 
             
A man with an almost hopeless case of Hodgkin’s disease (cancer of the lymph glands) who was completely incapacitated. Within 1 year of starting the asparagus therapy, his doctors were unable to detect any signs of cancer, and he was back on a schedule of strenuous exercise.

Case No. 2,
             
A successful businessman 68 years old who suffered from cancer of  the bladder for 16 years.  After years of medical treatments,including radiation without improvement, he went on asparagus. Within 3 months, examinations revealed that his bladder tumor had disappeared and that his kidneys were normal.

 
Case No. 3,
A man who had lung cancer. On March 5th 1971, he was put on the operating table where they found lung cancer so widely spread that it was inoperable. The surgeon sewed him up and declared his case hopeless. On April 5th he heard about the asparagus therapy and immediately started taking it. By August, x-ray pictures revealed that all signs of the cancer had disappeared. He is back at his regular business routine. *
 
 
*Case No. 4,             
A woman who was troubled for a number of years with skin cancer. She finally developed different skin cancers which were diagnosed by asking specialist as advanced. Within 3 months after starting on asparagus, her skin specialist said that her skin looked fine and no more skin lesions. This woman reported that the asparagus therapy also cured her kidney disease, which started in 1949. She had over 10 operations for kidney stones, and was receiving government disability payments for an inoperable, terminal, kidney condition. She attributes the cure of this kidney trouble entirely to the asparagus.

I was not surprised at this result, as `The elements of Materia Medica’, edited in 1854 by a Professor at the University of  Pennsylvania , stated that asparagus was used as a popular remedy for kidney stones. He even referred to experiments, in 1739, on the power of asparagus in dissolving stones.

We would have other case histories but the medical establishment has interfered with our obtaining some of the records. I am therefore appealing to readers to spread this good news and help us to gather a large number of case histories that will overwhelm the medical skeptics about this unbelievably simple and natural remedy. For the treatment, asparagus should be cooked before using, and therefore canned asparagus is just as good as fresh.

I have corresponded with the two leading canners of asparagus, Giant Giant and Stokely, and I am satisfied that these brands contain no pesticides or preservatives.

PROCEDURE:

1) Place the cooked asparagus in a blender and liquefy to make a puree, and store in the refrigerator.
 
2) Give the patient 4 full tablespoons twice daily, morning and evening.
Patients usually show some improvement in from 2-4 weeks. It can be diluted with water and used as a cold or hot drink. This suggested dosage is based on present experience, but certainly larger amounts can do no harm and may be needed in some cases.
 
As a biochemist I am convinced of the old saying that `what cures can prevent’. Based on this theory, my wife and I have been using asparagus puree as a beverage with our meals.  We take 2 tablespoons diluted in water to suit our taste with breakfast and with dinner. I take mine hot and my wife prefers hers cold.
For years we have made it a practice to have blood surveys taken as part of our regular checkups.
 
The last blood survey, taken by a medical doctor who specializes in the nutritional approach to health, showed substantial improvements in all categories over the last one, and we can attribute these improvements to nothing but the asparagus drink…

As a biochemist, I have made an extensive study of all aspects of cancer, and all of the proposed cures. As a result, I am convinced that asparagus fits in better with the latest theories about cancer.  Asparagus contains a good supply of protein called histones, which are believed to be active in controlling cell growth. For that reason, I believe asparagus can be said to contain a substance that I call cell growth normalizer. That accounts for its action on cancer and inacting as a general body tonic. In any event, regardless of theory, asparagus used as we suggest, is a harmless substance.
 
The FDA cannot prevent you from using it and it may do you much good.. It has been reported by the US National Cancer Institute, that asparagus is the highest tested food containing glutathione, which is considered one of the body’s most potent anticarcinogens and antioxidants.
 
Please spread the news…..the most unselfish act one can ever do is paying forward all the kindness one has received even to the most undeserved person *

From Breast Cancer to Testicular Cancer, it’s worth giving it a try!

Forward this to everyone you know! 

(Email Forward Circa 2009)

FWD: Italian Elbow

The Italian Elbow

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.

Get in, and with you elbow , pusha 3.

When you get out, I’mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell.”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?

“What… You coming empty handed ?”

FWD: Motherly Instincts

Extraordinary Mothers

Animal Mothers – A dog having a cat for lunch!

Watch some animal’s motherly instincts kick in despite it not being the same species at the Humane Society in Iowa!

Check out these unlikely couples victim of Motherly Love: Dogs & Cats, Cat & Deer, Horse & Goat and Leopard & Baboon.

YouTube – Uploaded on Jun 29, 2008

Motherly Instinct